We built this Schmidt-y on tootsie roooolllls.

Judging by my awkward maternity pose, it's clear that I have never really taken a maternity picture before, and it's definitely for good reason. I am not one of those girls who rock being pregnant, and I've never really understood how they do it. (I wish I was fishing for compliments rather than just stating the obvious, but sadly...I'm not.) In fact, if I had to pick three things off the top of my head that keep me up at night (besides getting up to pee every 2 hours of course) they would be:

1. Why Mason Kardashian wears band-aids on his face

2. Why men have nipples

3. And how some girls can look so awesome while pregnant

Anyway, I wish I was one of those women with the cute soccer-ball-bellies who you look at and say, "Aww, you're all baby, I couldn't even tell you were pregnant from behind!" However, I'm more like all baby, plus all booty, plus a whoooole-lotta pie-face wrapped in wrinkly jersey-knit fabric. It's really too bad, but I figure my kids might want to see me in this state regardless, so I better suck up my insecurities and take a quick picture every few weeks. I also thought it'd be fun (for lack of a better word) to jot down a few things to remember about this stage in my pregnancy, so here we go:

1. My belly got so much bigger so much faster this time around. I tell myself I'm about halfway through so how much bigger can I get? But then I quickly remember that I'm only halfway through, and I can get a whole lot bigger. Ruh-oh!

2. I'm almost out of the clear of sick mornings and nights, taking Zofran this pregnancy was a slam-dunk!

3. I am a freaking carnivore. When Geoff asked me for gift ideas for Valentines Day, I legitimately told him that all I wanted was a steak from Flemings. I've never even had a steak from Flemings. In fact, I've never really ordered any type of red meat from any restaurant up until now. Pregnancy, man!

4. I am quickly remembering how hard it is to dress when you have an 'old-man-gut' to work with. I am still at the point where wearing shamelessly tight and hideous outfits seem better than surrendering to maternity clothes, cause I just can't bring myself to pull out that plastic bag of panel jeans out from the depths of my closet. 

5. This pregnancy is seriously flying by. I never thought I'd say that, but I feel like with your 2nd you're just more... distracted? When women have their 3rd/4th/5th child, do they even have time to realize they're pregnant until they're due? Maybe that's a stupid question.

Either way, I forget how much you can fall in love with something whose heartbeat you've only heard and who you can only compare to the size of a ______ (insert fruit). But you do. And it's crazy! And it makes all those red-meat craving, toilet-hugging, back-aching, teenage-acne-filled days worth it and more.

We love you so much, little baby.